How The Years Go By

I have to admit that I am getting a little sentimental since I am leaving in a week, leaving this city where I've spent the last 7 years of my life. Chinese say life goes by as fast as snapping your fingers. I still remember that first time I saw it seven years ago. I flew 5 hours on a North West flight to get here late at night. After some troubles with the immigration I stepped out of the airport after midnight with three giant pieces of luggage. Someone from the international student office dropped me off at this residence place of a church. The whole place was dark and quite since it was during the summer vacation. The room I took was not much bigger than someone's walk-in closet. I sat in the dark on the luggage feeling extremely exhausted and lonely. Then I started to cry, for an hour. When I had no more energy left to cry any longer I decided to call my dad who almost had an heart attach waiting and worrying about me. I remember I had to fight the tears so hard on the phone because I didn't want him to worry.

Then it was the first winter. Honestly for people who are not born in Canada especially in Saskatchewan, the winter is brutal. During the first semester after I calculated that I had enough for 50% for every courses I decided I should stop going to classes. I stayed in my room like a hibernating bear. I still remember the first night I saw snow. It was an usual quite and long night. I was sitting beside the window in the dark. My window was facing the small cozy backyard, and there was a lamp right outside. Snow started coming down. It was falling silently in the dim yellow light. Sometime when there was wind it looked like it was dancing with the light. It remained me of the 'fogy willows' around the Forbidden City. I couldn't breath for a second. I felt the world around me was standing still. The feeling was almost intoxicating. I knew I would never be able to forget that moment.

I've met some very special people during these years who have left footprints in my life. Some memories are happy and sweet, and some are heart breaking, but I know if I could turn back time I would make the same decisions because with any of the steps missing I wouldn't be who I am today. I have been given advices and warnings about my future, personal and professional. Thank you all, but I think I will be just fine. I often feel optimism is overrated. I'd like to see the world exactly the way it is. There is nothing you can throw at me that I haven't already heard. The 'glass man' in the French movie 'Amelie' once said, 'Your bones are not made of glass. You can take couple of knocks of life'. I seek nothing but truth. I am not saying I can handle all of it. All I am saying is I am trying my best.