As soon as we start thinking, God starts laughing

Finally I have my internet back. Finally my body and soul are reconnected. If you are reading this, you probably know what I am talking about.

I walked around downtown Victoria over the weekend. The little early morning rain washed the sky to a color of crystal blue. The bright sunshine danced on the water of the inner harbor. I sat outside of a coffee shop drinking milk (yeah I have a record of ordering milk in a bar :P) watching people walking, listening to them speaking English, Japanese, Chinese and some only-god-knows languages. There was lion dance in China Town. It was one of the moment that I felt so odd to be a Chinese. People here are nuts about three things, fitness, Starbuks, and dogs. It is like a never ending holiday. Sometimes when there is lots of happiness and excitement around, I get this feeling of stepping outside of my own life and watching it go on like it is someone else's.

I've got the library card. It is one of the first couple things I get every time I move to a new city. it gives me the peace of mind. Some people keep drinking, eating or playing video games to escape reality, but for me I read. No matter how I feel, sad, lonely or down, when I pick up a book and start reading I am no longer here. It is the best deal ever. After finish a book someone's whole life's wisdom is yours, and it is free!!! My stuff is still not here yet. I wouldn't be so surprised if they ended up somewhere in Africa. Some people think I am a material girl. I bet I live better than lot of you with absolutely minimum material.

A friend called me over the weekend and asked me the meaning of life. Gee, this is one of the concepts same as 'true love' that is so overrated. Why does everything have to have a meaning? So I said what if there was no meaning of life after all. She thought it was too horrifying to believe. No kidding, what do you think we've invented religions for?! If you are really concerned, go find yourself a religion. Just pick one, anyone, since each one of them offers answers to all the questions. You no longer need to think because everything has been thought for you. That's why I often feel religions people are lucky. Maybe I will be religious someday, but not now, not yet. If I was told that I came from dust and I would go back to dust and the rest of the world goes on, I would say I'd like that alot. Letting go is so ever hard. We need to find meaning for our existence. We need to be loved, to be remembered, and our last name and blood line need to be passed on. But Why?! We came to this world alone. We cried out lungs out because it wasn't our choice. Buddha said life was birth, aging, sickness, death and it is a big illusion (this old man was a pretty nice guy and had lots of interest ideas :P). At the end we leave this world alone. In between we play a long or short drama. The best actor is the one who knows when to take a bow and leave the stage.

Don't worry, be happy! In the end everything will be fine. If it is not fine, it is not the end yet.