My Italian Summer - Venice maybe

I've had such difficult time writing about Venice. So I have decided I am not going to do it. I am sure 100 people would have 100 different impressions of Venice. If I describe the most beautiful woman in the world to you in words, would you be satisfied? You just have to see it with your own eyes. Venice was magical. It was the perfect ending of my midsummer night's dream, the perfect ending my fleeting youth...

My Reproduction and Me - Part 2

On Children

Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

(tbc...)

My Italian Summer - Florance, a midsummer night's dream

I rolled into Florance on one of the hottest summer days. For the following three days I got a very good understanding of what "under the Tuscan sun" really meant. Actually I was physically quiet close to it too.

When I saw my hotel room I started to realize how I got it so cheap for a 3 star hotel. I was put in the penthouse suite - the attic! Honestly when I open the door to my room I thought it was a closet. All I could see was a set of steep steps going up. The room was burning under the thin roof. There was one big machine that was supposed to be the air conditioning in the middle of the room, which blew nothing but warm wind. I took about 5 showers a day, and I hand-washed my clothes just as many times, which went completely dry after 20 minutes. I went out early morning everyday, came back to take a long nap during the hottest hours, and went out again after sunset. Does it sound bad? Don't let me fool you because I got a room with a view! When the sun was gone and the moon was up, when the cool midsummer night's wind gently blowing through the window, when Florance in the moonlight was under my eyes, it was all worthwhile.

One reason other than the heat that got me to get up early everyday was the church bells. Every morning around 7:00 I was woken up by the church bells' ringing. It seemed like all the church bells in town went off at the same time. My eyes were closed and my ears were ringing, but somehow there was this strange feeling of being at peace.

Florance is compact size. After wandering through small streets and half day at the Uffizi, I felt I could really use an emergency feet amputation. I decided right then and there that I was done with walking, at least for a while. For the rest of my time in Florance I picked a different piazza every day/night, sitting in cafes, on patios usually with a glass of house wine, and watching ordinary people's life has never failed to amuse me. Once I saw two men arguing in the middle of the piazza, one in Spanish and one in Italian. Apparently they had no trouble hurting each other's feelings.

When you are traveling solo you get to meet more people. I met a psychic woman from Australia who drank alot, danced alot, and told me how the world was going to end soon and how much better French men could flirt. Another Italian guy, Florance local, who has a PhD in Greek and Italian architecture but creates websites during the day and plays guitar in a band at night. People including yourself seem to be more interesting when you are on the road alone.

On my last night in Florence, I went to Piazza Signoria. The nightly wind was cooling down, so I put on the red and gold shawl I bought earlier that day (for 10 euro and a fake leather bag for 20 were all the shopping I did in Europe. For god's sake, I didn't go to Europe to shop!), and bought my daily gelato. I sat down at the feet of David and took off my shoes. The sky was diamond blue. Suddenly the music came on. One of the street musician was playing Shubert's Serenade with flute. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath knowing this would be the perfect midsummer night's dream of mine...

My hotel key


View of my room at the door

View from top of the stairs

View from my hotel window

My room and the hot wind only air conditioning machine

Some strange people I met

The very shy room service guy at the hotel

Italian polices are equipped with the best leather goods

Piazza at night

David at night

Lovely wood shop

My Reproduction and Me - Part 1

I admit I am not a maternal person. Just the other day one friend of mine from my ex-ex-ex job reminded me that back then my famous line was 'I don't believe in reproduction'. Somehow I feel I should explain a little, not excusing, just explaining and just a little...

I believe that every or at least most human behavior services the ultimate purpose of reproduction that ensures the existence of the human specie. I never dare to underestimate the power of billion years of evolution. It doesn't give a damn about how free-spirited, independent-thinking you credit yourself are. All it ever cares is survival, more mutations, better, stronger, more fitted genes. It carves all these in your genes, hard-wires your brain. Oh is it ever sneaky. It sends out the nature calls and sets the biological clock ticking ever so loudly in middle of the nights and at your weakest moments. It shoots your hormones through the roof, makes your eyes watery and melts your heart. It not only leaves you no choice but also makes you believe this greatest idea is all YOURS, the best thing you have ever done, the true meaning of your life, and that missing piece of your incomplete life is finally there.

I never even thought about fighting it. I never was against reproduction. All I have ever been is indifferent. I could go either way. I really don't give a hoot. My husband wants kids, 1 vote vs. 0, so there you go. I only had one request. I had to go to Italy first. That's how I made peace with life, and that was done. Now here I am, 26 weeks into the battle at the sweet old age of 34. I cannot sleep. I cannot eat. I cannot climb stairs without breathing like a dog with rabies. Here I am, with a silly smile on my face every time she secretively moves from the lower corner of my tummy to the upper one, which is proximately at my throat. Here I am, end of the discussion.