Mommy and Baby

My Italian Summer - Venice maybe

I've had such difficult time writing about Venice. So I have decided I am not going to do it. I am sure 100 people would have 100 different impressions of Venice. If I describe the most beautiful woman in the world to you in words, would you be satisfied? You just have to see it with your own eyes. Venice was magical. It was the perfect ending of my midsummer night's dream, the perfect ending my fleeting youth...

My Reproduction and Me - Part 2

On Children

Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

(tbc...)

My Italian Summer - Florance, a midsummer night's dream

I rolled into Florance on one of the hottest summer days. For the following three days I got a very good understanding of what "under the Tuscan sun" really meant. Actually I was physically quiet close to it too.

When I saw my hotel room I started to realize how I got it so cheap for a 3 star hotel. I was put in the penthouse suite - the attic! Honestly when I open the door to my room I thought it was a closet. All I could see was a set of steep steps going up. The room was burning under the thin roof. There was one big machine that was supposed to be the air conditioning in the middle of the room, which blew nothing but warm wind. I took about 5 showers a day, and I hand-washed my clothes just as many times, which went completely dry after 20 minutes. I went out early morning everyday, came back to take a long nap during the hottest hours, and went out again after sunset. Does it sound bad? Don't let me fool you because I got a room with a view! When the sun was gone and the moon was up, when the cool midsummer night's wind gently blowing through the window, when Florance in the moonlight was under my eyes, it was all worthwhile.

One reason other than the heat that got me to get up early everyday was the church bells. Every morning around 7:00 I was woken up by the church bells' ringing. It seemed like all the church bells in town went off at the same time. My eyes were closed and my ears were ringing, but somehow there was this strange feeling of being at peace.

Florance is compact size. After wandering through small streets and half day at the Uffizi, I felt I could really use an emergency feet amputation. I decided right then and there that I was done with walking, at least for a while. For the rest of my time in Florance I picked a different piazza every day/night, sitting in cafes, on patios usually with a glass of house wine, and watching ordinary people's life has never failed to amuse me. Once I saw two men arguing in the middle of the piazza, one in Spanish and one in Italian. Apparently they had no trouble hurting each other's feelings.

When you are traveling solo you get to meet more people. I met a psychic woman from Australia who drank alot, danced alot, and told me how the world was going to end soon and how much better French men could flirt. Another Italian guy, Florance local, who has a PhD in Greek and Italian architecture but creates websites during the day and plays guitar in a band at night. People including yourself seem to be more interesting when you are on the road alone.

On my last night in Florence, I went to Piazza Signoria. The nightly wind was cooling down, so I put on the red and gold shawl I bought earlier that day (for 10 euro and a fake leather bag for 20 were all the shopping I did in Europe. For god's sake, I didn't go to Europe to shop!), and bought my daily gelato. I sat down at the feet of David and took off my shoes. The sky was diamond blue. Suddenly the music came on. One of the street musician was playing Shubert's Serenade with flute. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath knowing this would be the perfect midsummer night's dream of mine...

My hotel key


View of my room at the door

View from top of the stairs

View from my hotel window

My room and the hot wind only air conditioning machine

Some strange people I met

The very shy room service guy at the hotel

Italian polices are equipped with the best leather goods

Piazza at night

David at night

Lovely wood shop

My Reproduction and Me - Part 1

I admit I am not a maternal person. Just the other day one friend of mine from my ex-ex-ex job reminded me that back then my famous line was 'I don't believe in reproduction'. Somehow I feel I should explain a little, not excusing, just explaining and just a little...

I believe that every or at least most human behavior services the ultimate purpose of reproduction that ensures the existence of the human specie. I never dare to underestimate the power of billion years of evolution. It doesn't give a damn about how free-spirited, independent-thinking you credit yourself are. All it ever cares is survival, more mutations, better, stronger, more fitted genes. It carves all these in your genes, hard-wires your brain. Oh is it ever sneaky. It sends out the nature calls and sets the biological clock ticking ever so loudly in middle of the nights and at your weakest moments. It shoots your hormones through the roof, makes your eyes watery and melts your heart. It not only leaves you no choice but also makes you believe this greatest idea is all YOURS, the best thing you have ever done, the true meaning of your life, and that missing piece of your incomplete life is finally there.

I never even thought about fighting it. I never was against reproduction. All I have ever been is indifferent. I could go either way. I really don't give a hoot. My husband wants kids, 1 vote vs. 0, so there you go. I only had one request. I had to go to Italy first. That's how I made peace with life, and that was done. Now here I am, 26 weeks into the battle at the sweet old age of 34. I cannot sleep. I cannot eat. I cannot climb stairs without breathing like a dog with rabies. Here I am, with a silly smile on my face every time she secretively moves from the lower corner of my tummy to the upper one, which is proximately at my throat. Here I am, end of the discussion.

My Italian Summer - Rome, wondrously chaotic

If you are a fan of the classic black and white movie, the Roman Holiday, like I am, you would know how it feels like to have Rome always on your mind.

If you think Vienna airport is unorganized, then Rome's is absolutely crazy. It took me 3 hours to find my luggage in Rome international airport. The train platform was packed with people with puzzled look. I hopped on a train praying it would take me to the main terminal in the city, and I was lucky that day.

When i was dragging my little suit case through streets on my way to the hotel, I was tired, thirty, semi-lost and happy. I was surrounded by strange places filled with strange people speaking strange languages, and for the first time I didn't feel like a stranger. Rome was big, dirty and noisy. Streets were packed with homicidal and suicidal drivers and pedestrians. People were rude and loud. All of these kind of made me smile to myself and think, 'this is just like home'.

I am not a huge natural beauty appreciator. I mean I think they are beautiful, the mountains, the ocean, the trees and the beaches. Honestly I almost hate beaches. It relaxes me, and it bores me to death at the same time. I love cities, cultures, civilizations, people and their lives, languages, history, humanity.... I need to learn something I don't already know all the time to stay awake. Italy is the perfect place for me. Did I forget food? Oh yeah, food is very important to me. As a Chinese I am a natural food snob. The reason I never was temped enough to go to England is I haven't seen/heard one dish there that makes me droll. I mean who the heck eat Yorkshire pudding? the salty, deep fried nothingness! I didn't go to any fancy restaurants in Italy. I stayed alive with all the street food or things from the small shops. I believe I could be a vegetarian and still be happy in there. I find Italian food almost as comforting as Chinese food to me.

I had bought a pair of flat walking shoes before I took off for Europe. Somehow I still underestimated the walking part. I planned the trip so hellishly, so that I didn't need to take a taxi at all. For the 3 days I was in Rome, I walked more than all the walk together I had done in my entire life. At the end of the each day, I could not even stand on my feet. I had to soak them in the cold water to get the burning pain off. Most of the time I didn't really have a destination. I wandered through streets, sitting down on stone steps watching the fountains and people passing by. Rome unlike other famous tourist cities in Italy, like Florence or Vinnece, it has a life of its own. Too bad I didn't get to see much of it for staying so short.

I have to admit there was disappointment. I was kind of hoping to see more of the Roman's Rome, the Rome through Julius Caesar's eyes, the Rome that belonged to the Jupiter and Venus worshiping people, the civilization that had a strong Greek root, the pre-Christianity time. Most of it was gone. Anything beautiful has been turned into a church. When I heard that the the bronze that was used to built the gigantic altar in St. Peter's was 'borrowed' from the The Pantheon, 'the temple of all gods', I was almost angry, although now the Pantheon itself is a church. People have built all sorts of monuments with hope to reach eternity, but who has touched more souls and who would be remembered by most people for the longest time? Do people come here from all over the world year after year to see St. Peter's? the Pope? or Michelangelo?!

The high light of my days in Rome would be the time I spent licking my chocolate gelato sitting on top of the Spanish Steps wondering if I would spot a lost Princess in the warm sunset in this beautiful, romantic, ancient city.

Rome is so chaotically wondrous, and I wish it would never change a bit.



I am not going to show you any picture of any thing that is in any post cards...

My hotel key

My hotel washroom. When I was washing my hair, my elbows were actually outside the shower.

Resting in front of the Pantheon

Some random forgotten courtyard I accidentally walked in

Guess when Italian want to exit, they really mean it!



Before...

...After...

My Italian Summer - Vienna, the city of kings and queens

Due to some big changes in my life, I am going to try to finish the European posts ASAP! Just in case you are curious, yes, if everything goes well I will be a mom in July :P


When I arrived in Vienna, it was raining pretty hard. My friends met me at the airport. It was just the greatest to see them.

To be close to my friends, I stayed in a small B&B in the 10th district, which happened to be in the middle of a Turkish neighborhood. The B&B was located on a busy pedestrian street. Suffering from the jetlag I woke up everyday around 5am. I picked a different café every morning for some pastries and a cup of cappuccino (I wasn't ready for the espresso shot yet at that point :P). Venetians love their pastries. There are usually more than 50 different kind including more than 10 different type of croissants. The cappuccino cup is a bit bigger than the cup for coffee, but it is still miniature comparing to the coffee cups used in North America. This reminds me of a Chinese saying. Chinese tea cups are usually small, kind of like the Italian espresso size. For Chinese tea lovers, drinking one cup is for enjoyment, 2 cups is for thirst, and drinking 3 cups is called watering the donkey. The whole time I was in Europe I didn't see once, not even once, that someone was drinking coffee out of a paper cup and walking around. They somehow always manage to find the 5 minutes to enjoy a small cup of good coffee.

One morning I was sitting in a patio of a café across the street from a very modest looking community church. I saw people coming and going, lighting up candles and having their little chat with their God. I stepped in for a second. No matter how 'community' and modest it looked, like all old churches in Europe, it still gave me the feeling of well aged beauty, the heaviness of history or just time. According to the old folks sitting on the bench outside (another interesting thing is all the benches are always occupied in Vienna and in Italy. People enjoy sitting down in the sun and relax.), the church was more than 200 years old. See, this is the thing about Europe. They can casually kick some dirt off their shoes and tell you it is more than couple hundred years old. It isn't unlike China.

I didn't do much tourist things in Vienna because I wanted to spent as much time as possible with my friends. Vienna would not even be on my list if not for that. We still went to the 1st district though. That's where most of the historical sites are. I had to admit that I was severely over dosed on European churches on this trip, but if I had to make a pick, it would be the Gothic ones. They certainly captures the soul of religion. It definitely evoke the emotion of fear, respect and passion that sits heavily on your chest and takes your breath away no matter you are religious or not.

I managed to find couple of hours to go to a concert by the Mozart Orchestra in the Great Hall. I accidentally walked in the a Sand in the City party, drinking spritzer in the sunset. I heard beautiful music. I had great food. My eyes were getting blind for seeing so many splendid things. Still, something was missing. Don't get me wrong. Vienna is breathtakingly beautiful, elegant, and grandeur. I couldn't figure it out until I was in Italy. It went, 'ah, this is home...'.