Freak Show

Before I moved to Victoria everybody had warned me about the rain, but nobody had warned me about the wind. I can stand the rain, but the wind here is a freak show. Trees are down everywhere, roads are blocked, siren of ambulances or fire trucks echoes through out the night, ferries, the only mean out of the island, are cancelled, and I am trapped on this island. If you are younger than age of 45, don't move here because you will be the minority. People used to say this is the place for the newly wed and the nearly dead. I haven't seen any newly wed so far. They probably get hit by the insane housing price tag between the eyes so hard and move to Alberta or Manitoba. But the nearly dead are everywhere. They are controlling, complaining, and stopping everything that is younger than them from happening. Have you ever played the video game called 'House of Dead'? Yeah, it's kind of like that except in this game the zombies are the ones with the machine guns.
Somerset Maugham said, ' I don't feel at home in London, but then I don't feel at home anywhere'. There must be something seriously wrong with me.

Random Thoughts

According to the article I read there might be a little mistranslation of the old bible. Instead of God drove Adam and Eve out of Eden, it was God who was driven out of Eden. Could this be true? Just a little mistranslated the verb?! Well it certainly explains the absence of Him for all these years. I am not even religious, but the idea terrified me. I somehow find that the idea that "God has given us up' is scarier than 'God doesn't exists'. I wouldn't blame him. Honestly I would be pretty pissed off if I were Him, just look at us! Would we ever be able to win his heart back? Or just wait for the flood? I am not so worried since He's always got the plan.

According to another article I read ,which was just as horrifying as the last one, according to Greek mythology when people pass away they will be greeted by one question, and one only, which is 'Did you have passion?'. What kind of question is that, seriously?! Dose passion for Gucci bags count? This question really scared the air out of me. How many of us ever have had passion, for anything?! This is the world and the time that passion is truly a luxury. We run around the clock to try to make ends meet. If I had more time I would go to the gym. If I had more money I would invest more in my RRSP. If I had more time or money I would have more passion? Does it work that way? No, it doesn't, and we all know that. We all have favorites like chocolate, smoking, World of Warcraft...but passion is something you would die for. I am still working on my answer.

Over the holiday I met a mom who bought her four years old daughter the fancy hard covered color pictured book called 'Princess', which is a collection of princess fairytales, the Snow White, Cinderella... How we all loved those stories when we were little girls. Girls are brain washed from very early age to believe that some day the prefect Prince on his perfect white horse would come and rescue us from our miserable life, and everything would be ok and we would live happily ever after. I felt like rescuing the poor kid. Personally I think these fairytales are responsible for many failed relationships. Women who grew up with these fairytales embeded in their brain are set up to fail because life is not fairytale. Life is a battle field. If I ever had a daughter I would like to tell her something like this, 'Sweetie, nobody is going to save us except ourselves. Nowadays, princes are busy saving themsevles. Get a job, be financially independent, start a nice RRSP portfolio early, and stay true and close with your friends. These are the ingredients of a nice cake. If a nice guy comes along he could be the perfect icing on top. Remember, in this unpromising world the only thing I can promise you is no matter what happens I will always always be the one who loves you the most'

Brokeback Mountain

I went to watch the movie 'Brokeback Mountain' today. Once again I realize what a hopelessly romantic person I am. But I don't know how or what to say. According to nature it take a man and a woman to reproduce. According to the Bible (assume that even though it was written by human with fresh and blood like you and me truly represents God' will) it takes a man and a woman to make a matrimony holly. But what about love? Does love have to? Please don't ask me if I am Pro-gay right. I am a hopelessly romantic person, and I am Pro-love.
BTW, I love reading this review. It made me laugh out loud every second line. Enjoy!

Who's Afraid of Riding 'Brokeback'?
Jim Emerson / January 5, 2006
"Whoa, Nelly!" It seems that "Brokeback Mountain" has set off a tizzy of squeamish homosexual panic that's rippling across the nation! From critics to pundits to stand-up comics making sophomoric puns -- everybody's cracking the same lame and uncomfortable "gay cowboy" jokes over and over, but for different reasons, and I'm trying to keep track of it all. Let's see, over here we have those (mostly straight male critics) who think it's "not gay enough" (whatever that means) and might alienate its "core audience." And over here are those (mostly gay activists) who resent that the leads are ostensibly straight actors instead of gay ones. And over here are some Kinsey 1-6 men and women wiping their eyes and noses on their sleeves. I don't think any of this other stuff would even be brought up now if "Brokeback Mountain" hadn't turned out to be such a darn good movie. And it's a Western, you know.To me, what's been fascinating are the conflicted reactions of those who either do or do not want to see the movie in the first place: They're "afraid" to see it because of what it might reveal (to themselves or others) about their own sexuality; or they don't want to see it because they think it's a Hollywood plot to ram a "gay agenda" down America's collective throat; or they feel guilty about not wanting to see it because they're not homophobic, but they just don't want to watch two guys in love (even though they do like Westerns); or they want to go but they can't take a (female heterosexual) date (what would they talk about afterwards?) and they don't want to go by themselves or with another guy; or they want to wait until it's out on DVD because they don't want to see it, or be seen with it, in public....Let's take a look at some examples of "Brokebackophilia" and "Brokebackophobia":1) Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Heath? Bill O'Reilly (who amazingly thinks that "Spin" and "Talking Points" are two different things) told Michael Medved and Jeannie Wolf that he wasn't going to see it because he was "afraid." Of what, he didn't say, but it was apparently supposed to be a joke about his wooziness when it comes to... what? Horsies? Marlboro Men? Sheep? I dunno. So, then Larry "Not That There's Anything Wrong With That" David wrote a satirical op-ed in the New York Times in which he made fun of people like Bill O'Reilly (and himself), trying to find excuses for why he said he didn't want to see the movie:
I'm for gay marriage, gay divorce, gay this and gay that. I just don't want to watch two straight men, alone on the prairie, fall in love and kiss and hug and hold hands and whatnot. That's all.Is that so terrible? Does that mean I'm homophobic? And if I am, well, then that's too bad. Because you can call me any name you want, but I'm still not going to that movie.To my surprise, I have some straight friends who've not only seen the movie but liked it. "One of the best love stories ever," one gushed. Another went on, "Oh, my God, you completely forget that it's two men...." [...] If two cowboys, male icons who are 100 percent all-man, can succumb, what chance to do I have, half- to a quarter of a man, depending on whom I'm with at the time? I'm a very susceptible person, easily influenced, a natural-born follower with no sales-resistance.Fox's John "War on Christmas" Gibson (the guy with the biggest, gayest neo-Liberace helmut-pompadour blonde dye job you've ever seen) has announced again and again that he isn't going to see "the gay cowboy movie" (ha ha!) either, and was glad that Larry David, uh, "rode to [his] rescue." Funny guy. Funny ha-ha, I mean.To me, this is the funniest part of the whole homosexual-panic reaction to "Brokeback Mountain" -- not just that seeing it or not seeing it is seen as a kind of statement, but that it's necessary for people to make a statement about seeing it or not seeing it. Some people not only feel defensive about not wanting to see it, but feel compelled to come out and announce that they don't want to see it. Does that mean they're really homophobic, or latent queer, or right-wing fundamentalists or all of the above? I "came out" recently about my (initially) unconscious resistance to seeing "King Kong" (it has to do with the 3-hour running time and my fear of feeling bad when they kill the big, sweet, furry galoot -- I don't like to see even CGI animals get hurt), but since when do people have to feel so guilty or conflicted about not wanting to see a movie? As it happens, Larry David's straight friends are right: Part of what's so good about "Brokeback Mountain" is precisely that it's a great movie love story and that you don't even think about playing stupid, reductive identity politics with the characters' lives.(Anybody who thinks that "straight" and "gay" are permanent or exclusive binary options, or comprehensive definitions of human sexuality, will probably be surprised or confused by the movie anyway, because it doesn't make an issue of "gay" or "straight" identity or behavior. It's just a movie about the lives of these two guys who meet and work together and develop a friendship with benefits at a crucial time in their lives -- and, as with a lot of male friendships, that early on-the-job bonding becomes a life-long relationship. And, every once in a while, Jack and Ennis have sex.)My friend John, whom I've known (entirely platonically!) for almost 30 years and who now lives with his wife Mary in Los Angeles, told me recently about a male friend of his who wanted to go see "Brokeback Mountain" but didn't know how. He knew he couldn't take a date. He didn't want to go by himself -- or with another guy (how would that look? he obsessed). So, John came up with the perfect solution: He invited his friend to accompany him and Mary. "Great!" said the friend. "But if Mary cancels, I'm not going."John, who's in the music industry, said: "This is the perfect DVD movie. It could be huge." 2) "Not gay enough" or "too gay"? "Brokeback Mountain" -- like "Munich," another one of 2005's best movies -- does not paint its characters in solid black-and-white. But that's exactly what worries some, who have been trying to predict whether (supposedly straight, "mainstream") audiences will find it "too gay" and be turned off, or whether (supposedly gay, activist) audiences will find it "not gay enough" (in a political sense) and be turned off. In his "Straight dudes' guide to 'Brokeback,' " David White at MSNBC offers some advice to those who are worried about the "too gay" part:
It’s about 130 minutes long and 129 of them are about Men Not Having Sex.And:
You kind of have no idea how important it is for you to shut up. But it’s crucial. I was recently at a press screening for another movie and I overheard four guys in the theater lobby talking about “Brokeback.” They were resolute in their refusal to go see it and they couldn’t stop loudly one-upping each other about how they had no interest, were not “curious,” and were, in the words of the loudest guy in the group, “straight as that wall over there.” Oh, the wall with poster for the Big Gay Cowboy Movie on it? That straight wall? Well here’s something that everyone else now knows but that guy: he’s probably gay. Being silent marks you as too cool to care about how other men see you. It means you’re comfortable and not freaked by your own naked shadow. Did Steve McQueen go around squawking about how straight-as-a-wall he was? No, he didn’t. He was too busy being stoic and manly.And besides:
Dude, it's a western.... And the script was adapted by none other than Total Dude Larry McMurtry. That guy is the coolest western writer in the country. He wrote “Lonesome Dove.” You love “Lonesome Dove.” In fact, the only problem with remembering that it’s a western is having to ignore the fact that most westerns are about 1000 percent gay. If you think I’m making that up, just go watch “Red River” again.I would add that "Brokeback Mountain" isn't even 10 percent as gay as "Top Gun" or "Jarhead," and that the man-on-man contact in both those films is much heavier and more explicit than any "stemming the rose" in "Brokeback."3) Is it PC enough? Back in September, David Poland, over at The Hot Button, made a prediction after seeing "Brokeback Mountain" in the mountains of Colorado at the Telluride Film Festival:
I still think that there could be some backlash against the film since it depicts gay men (presumably, though one of the two men is clearly a happily active bi-sexual and the other seems okay with married life though obsessed with the other man, though not men in general) as unable to move forward, suppressed by society and the threat of anti-gay rage rearing its head. It's hard to imagine Larry Kramer or Andrew Sullivan going for the politics of this film.On the flip side, I didn't find a gay man at Telluride who saw the film and was not a fan, including some very, very smart, fully out, sharp-tongued guys. [...] In so many ways, "Brokeback Mountain" is not inherently political. It is a very old-fashioned romance....More recently, in the Village Voice year-end movie poll, critic Steve Erickson said:
It's no surprise that a "Brokeback" backlash is coming, but the form it's taking is odd: straight male critics complaining it's not gay enough. They think a gay film has to prove — or at least aspire to — its outlaw authenticity. "Brokeback" is not just another story of tragic, helpless victims. Repression, especially the internalized variety, is the clear villain here. It comes in many forms: Straight people claiming the authority to determine queer legitimacy and then fetishizing it is one.... while another critic, Nathan Lee, wrote:
If I hear one more straight critic complain that "Brokeback Mountain" isn't particularly gay, I'm gonna spit on my hand, lube up my ----, and ---- him in the ----. I'm only kissing if he looks like Heath Ledger, though.Only Lee didn't use all those little dashes.So, you may be shocked to learn that, despite what you may have been led to believe, "Brokeback Mountain" is not, in fact, all things to all people. I know, it's a wild concept. The movie tells a small-scale, narrowly delineated story, specific to these individual characters in their time and place, that makes no overt political claims -- except, natch, that it's part of a Hollywood conspiracy to promote a "pro-gay" agenda. It's also not particularly gay, although there's some of that in it.Which brings me to my favorite "review" of "Brokeback Mountain" over at Red State Update. In a variation on SCTV's "Farm Film Report" with Billy Sol Hurok (Joe Flaherty) and Big Jim McBob (John Candy), Jackie Brole and Dunlap (played by Nashville comics Travis and Jonathan) discuss that new "King Kong" movie everybody's been talkin' about (the new one, not the old black-and-white one), and how it's nice to enjoy a good Western. What I think is particularly great about this hilariously inarticulate discussion -- which is sort of the whole "Brokeback" tizzy in a nutsack -- is that it's not just another stupid "gay cowboy" joke, but is more about the preconceptions and perceptions of moviegoers than it is about the movie itself. (Thanks to readers who sent in this link.)4) "Is it breakthrough enough"? Finally, and perhaps most curious of all, is a commentary by my former Los Angeles Film Critics Association colleague David Ehrenstein, who points out that "Brokeback Mountain" is not a gay breakthrough like some are saying because it was preceded by many much gayer movies, and that those who say it's some kind of "gay breakthrough" are wrong because the movie is not what they say it is -- i.e., a "gay breakthrough" movie. Then he kind of bashes the movie for not being the very thing that he says it isn't:
Heath Ledger’s faithful Ennis Del Mar waits for Jake Gyllenhaal’s straying Jack Twist and his “fishing trip” invites just as Irene Dunne pined away for a “drop-in” from her married lover, John Boles, in 1932’s "Back Street." But we’re not supposed to speak of such things, living as we do in what Gore Vidal calls “The United States of Amnesia.” We’re instead encouraged to ignore the precedents shattered by three decades of truly groundbreaking queer films — with "Sunday Bloody Sunday" (1971) leading a pack that also includes "My Beautiful Laundrette" (1985), "Parting Glances" (1986), Todd Haynes’ "Poison" (1991) and "Velvet Goldmine" (1998), Gus Van Sant’s "Mala Noche" (1985) and "My Own Private Idaho" (1991), "Savage Nights" (1992), "The Long Day Closes" (1992), "Wild Reeds" (1994), "Urbania" (2000), "Les Passagers" (1999), Patrice Chereau’s "L’Homme Blesse" (1983) and "Those Who Love Me Can Take the Train" (1998), "Kinsey" (2004), and, just this year, "Tropical Malady" and "Mysterious Skin." No, what’s really supposed to be important is the saddle-packing same-sex equivalent of "Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner."Newsweek’s Smith is simply agog at how “Gyllenhaal and Ledger don’t dodge it. The kissing and the sex scenes are fierce and full-blooded. But if the actors were taking a risk, they sure don’t seem to think so.” Goodness, you’d swear the thing starred Tom Cruise and Kevin Spacey. And what about gay actors playing gay roles? Is it beyond their ken? Would they be open to accusations of “simply being themselves” rather than “really acting”? In a marvelously irreverent article published in The Guardian called “Gay for Today,” writer Philip Hensher put it best: “There are no gay actors — or at least, there weren’t until Nathan Lane, to everyone’s utter incredulity, came out. Of course, there were gay actors in America’s past — James Dean, Cary Grant, Dirk Bogarde, Rock Hudson, Danny Kaye. Plenty of them, in fact. But, for whatever reason, there’s hardly a single gay actor of recognizable stature working in Hollywood. An incredible fact.”Maybe I missed the part where "Brokeback Mountain" announced it was a "gay breakthrough." (Oh, the marketers are also being criticized for downplaying the gayness -- even though there may not be enough -- in trying to reach a "mainstream" audience.) I agree with David that all the swoony talk about how "brave" this solidly classical movie is -- or the actors are -- is sheer sheep dung. But "Brokeback Mountain" is no pedantic liberal thesis movie like "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner." And it's not the movie's fault that some ignorami are writing about it as if it were. (David: Think "All That Heaven Allows" or "Ali -- Fear Eats the Soul," in the guise of a traditional, sexually and emotionally repressed Western. Is there any other kind -- "Johnny Guitar" excepted? I mean, while we're citing Todd Haynes and Gus van Sant, shouldn't we mention Douglas Sirk and R.W. Fassbinder and Howard Hawks and John Ford -- "Two Rode Together," indeed! -- too?)As for the "gay actor" question, I look at it this way: We all know there are a lot more gay actors playing straight parts than straight actors playing gay parts. The big difference is that the gay actors pretend that not all of what they do is acting.Hensher's catty comments are so disingenuous he reminds me of Austin Powers: "Yeah, and I can't believe Liberace was gay. I mean, women loved him! I didn't see that one coming." Surely there's no doubt that are at least as many high-profile gay (or Kinsey 1+) actors working in Hollywood as there've ever been. And just like those Hensher mentions from the past, most of them -- with the notable exception of "Lord of the Rings"/"X-Men" icon, Sir Ian McKellen -- are not "out" to the general public. But everybody in the movie biz seems to know who they are. Or, at least, they've heard some pretty good rumors. Whether these actors want to officially come out on the job or not is up to them. I'd like to think it wouldn't hurt their careers at all, but I'm not going to blame them for shutting up if they think it would. Or if they just don't want to deal with the particular kind of media attention they'd be inviting. And, again, that's hardly the fault of "Brokeback Mountain" or Ang Lee or Heath Ledger or Jake Gyllenhaal. Don't hate them because they're pretty!So, there you go. It's completely up to you if you want to see or skip the first sort-of gay but maybe not gay enough cowboy love story Western picture show. Just don't assume it's what anybody else tells you it is. Or isn't. You know what "assume" does...